27. letter to self

Dear Self,

For the next five minutes while you read this, can you put everything aside? Set aside your cell phone, your tablet, and the remote. Your homework, laundry, and the dishes can wait. But I don’t mean just objects. Really put everything aside. Take off your mask you wear, your inner and outer armor, set down the burdens you carry, and place your shame aside. For just a couple minutes, read this and let it soak in.

Mark my words, you are doing the best you can. Go ahead, get out your laundry list of evidence as proof that you could be doing better. Start to formulate an argument about how there’s always always room to grow. You hear time and time again that self-reflection is key, how it’s important to be “better than yesterday”, and fixate on the idea of creating a better you. While those things may be true…in this very moment YOU ARE ENOUGH.

Remember those mistakes you’ve made? The appointments you’ve missed, the plans you forgot you had, or the things you bought when you didn’t quite have enough money? It’s okay. Did you learn something? Could you see the lesson in each experience? Did some sort of reflection take place? If your answer is yes, then smile to yourself. Pat yourself on the back. You’re doing better than you think.

Those people you’ve made mad? Yes, think of every. single. one. Relive each experience and really see it for what it was. Was it a lesson for you to discover? Could it have just been the end of one of life’s many seasons? Was it a reflection of that person’s issues projected onto you? It could have simply been time for them to exit your life. Most of the time, it’s not personal (although it feels like it is). If it is personal, pick yourself up, learn from it, and focus on the ones who love you.

If there’s just one thing you need to know, it’s that you are imperfectly whole, complete, and enough. Who you are in this present moment is who you are supposed to be. Yes, there is ALWAYS room to grow, things to change, and instances in which you can do better. But that cannot be the focus of each moment or even each day.

Celebrate life for what it is. Love the ones around you who love you back, who see you for who you really are. Forgive yourself for your mistakes and thank yourself for lessons learned. Be unapologetically you, treasure the seasons of life you may pass through, and offer gratitude in each moment.

Because really, in this moment, you are doing the absolute best you can. And that is something for which you should be proud.