Lately, I’ve been struggling with comparing myself to others.
You know, the kind of comparison where you determine your value, self-worth, and success in life solely based on what someone else is doing, where they live, how much money they have, or how they look.
Completely illogical and irrational to read, but dangerously easy to do.
Man, the comparison slope is a slippery one, I tell ya. I will embarrassingly admit that I’ve started to believe that I’m not where I should be in life, that I’m a mess, that I’m going nowhere.
After two different conversations in which I voiced my concerns about my life with people who I love and trust dearly, I was challenged to stop choosing people as mirrors.
Mirrors. As women, I feel like we have a love/hate relationships with these darn pieces of glass anyway.
When you are doubtful of how something looks, you look in a mirror. Sometimes it gives you a startlingly accurate reflection of what you are trying to see. On other occasions, what you see is actually a bit skewed from reality. The majority of the time, we are not pleased with what is being reflected back.
I have come to realize that the more uncertainty I feel, the more obstacles I’m faced with, the more I use people as mirrors to gauge where I’m at in life in an attempt to make myself feel better.
Instead of looking at MY successes, taking inventory of what I have accomplished, and celebrating how far I’ve come, I use someone else’s life as a benchmark.
How’s that working for me? About as well as trying to do my makeup while looking through one of those full length fun house mirrors. Not at all. The majority of what I should be looking at it is diminished while the small amount of challenges and defeat I’ve faced are amplified, enlarged, and steal the show.
As the new year approaches, I’m going to challenge myself to stop using people as mirrors. Instead of focusing on where others are, I’m going to celebrate where I’m at, what I’ve accomplished, the experiences I’ve had, and all that I’ve learned.
Because really, what better mirror to use for your life than yourself?